All that I’ve got is a sinful heart
I am offering. What is it for a cloak in you
that I wanted to be clothed in?
Blessing is only for the poor, widowed
and miserable. But there is a peeping hole
even in the darkest cave. An entrance
to forgiveness. It is not my privilege
to ask. My heart is just a child resisting
the world’s demand and rules, forgetting
loved ones who waited as being so deep
in my own story of fear and anger and terror.
And I forgot to love. And I forget that I am
still a child who needs to be cared for.
I still have a fear of the belt marking my skin.
There is a picture of a monster in every corner.
That is the reason why I write stories.
There are memories I want to resist –
My mumbling voice, too tight as a child
inside my socks, and every street
was treacherous. I was lost. Then
I just want to tell stories. I want to tell
the world about love. And I am not
afraid of remembering anymore.
A child has risen.
Francisco A. Monteseña
Francisco A. Monteseña is a writer and former college instructor from Majayjay, Laguna.
Monteseña was a fellow at various creative writing workshops such as the University of Santo Tomas National Writers Workshop in 2007, the 8th Ateneo NationalWriters Workshop in 2008, the Palihang Rogelio Sicat 5 in 2012, the 55th University of the Philippines National Writers Workshop in 2016, the 3rd Nueva Ecija Personal Essay Writing Workshop in 2019, and the Palihang Rene O. Villanueva para sa mga Akdang Pambata 2024, and the Ika-4 na Saling Panitik 2024.
His works cover fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry, and they have garnered several awards. In 2007, he won first prize in the Gawad Komisyon para sa Kuwentong Pambata of the Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino (KWF) for his short story for“Pinaltok niOnyok.” He has also been recognized several times by the KWF’s Talaang Ginto: Makata ng Taon—winning third prize in 2013 and 2015, and second prize in 2021. The National Committee on Literary Arts also awarded him with the first prize of the Gawad Bienvenido Lumbera for poetry in 2022
He is a member of Linangan Sa Imahen, Retorika, at Anyo, and of Angono Tres-Siete Poetry Society.
